On Sunday this video was played at church.
Watching Derek Redmond’s race, I couldn’t help but feel it symbolised so much of what we’ve been through over the past few weeks, months and years.
The preparation. Redmond had trained for years, preparing mentally and physically. We’d done everything we could to prepare for this pregnancy. We’d done the marriage course last year to give our relationship a bit of a MOT to ensure we were emotionally in the best place we could be to face the challenges of parenthood. We’d waited till we were in the best financial place possible with stable jobs. We’d bought a house to ensure stability for our baby. I’d prepared physically- losing weight and getting fit before we fell pregnant, taking vitamins for months before, and ensured throughout I’ve stayed fit and eaten sensibly.We’d started gathering bits and pieces for baby too- a carrier, a cot suit, a teddy bear. I’d spent hours pouring over sewing books and Pinterest and bought fabric to start making various pieces for baby’s nursery. We were ready in every way possible to be parents.
The anticipation. Redmond was primed for success- everyone anticipated he was going to win. We too felt like we were in the winning race. We were so excited and had no sign of anything going wrong. We’d fallen pregnant very quickly and the pregnancy had thus far been easy.
And others shared our anticipation.
My Mum was already knitting the second cardigan for baby. My Dad had nicknamed baby little chick. We’d received a number of lovely gifts from people already excited to meet baby.
We were running the race and steaming forward.
The searing pain. You can see Redmond’s injury is completely out the blue and he’s floored by it. That’s how it’s felt- searing pain that stops you in your tracks and brings you to your knees. And on top of that anger, lost hopes and dreams,and frustration.
Carrying on. Redmond had a choice- give up or cross the line. He chose to cross the line- he had to do it for himself. In some ways I don’t feel like we had a choice- we just had to keep going, no matter how much it’s hurt.
But then Redmond’s Dad appears. They finish the race together.
From the first moment it became clear something was wrong with Aurelia God’s promise that he’d not give us anything we couldn’t handle was there in my mind. Throughout the last weeks we’ve lent on God and His promises- Aurelia will be with Him safe and loved, she is wonderfully and fearfully made, He’s with us through the storm. And I’ve felt peace and strength that can only come from somewhere outside myself.
We’re still along way from the finish line, we’re limping and it hurts but we’ve got each other and God to lean on, and one day we’ll get over that line.