Update: Planning

I wasn’t going to post an update on our most recent medical appointment, but then lots of people have been asking us if we’ve had anymore appointments and been interested, when I’ve said we’d spent time with a bereavement midwife last week.

So a week last Friday we spent a couple of hours with a lovely lady at the Whittington who is their bereavement midwife. Essentially that means she is a specialist midwife in dealing with parents like us, and helps parents prepare for the birth and will also help in some after care if needed such as referring to a counsellor.

This latest trip was to help us start thinking about a birth plan. A nice outcome of this meeting for me is the discovery that I do still have some choices (so far as my body allows it). As I’d been told that my pregnancy was now deemed ‘high risk’ I’d assumed all my visions about birth being as natural as possible (e.g. in a birth centre as opposed to a ward, being able to move around etc.) had quickly flown out the window. But whilst the pregnancy is still high risk they are treating my labour as very normal. In the light of everything that’s happening this might not seem important, but it means a lot that the whole ordeal won’t necessarily have to be as ‘clinical’ as I expected.

Of course, as with any birth plan, it could all go to pot depending on what happens.

Far more difficult of course was the fact we had to face again what will happen to Aurelia after she’s born. And what we decide for her has implications on the birth plan. For instance if our priority is to simply get whatever time we can with her alive with us (which could be no more than a minute), do we put her straight onto my  chest or do we have her checked first?

We’ve a number of difficult decisions with so many unknowns as to what will happen.

The other heartbreaking choice is what if her heartbeat begins to slow during labour- do we do something to intervene and get her out quick (the most likely way being a cesarean) or do we simply let her slip away? In being advised on this decision we’ve realised how much in medicine can be about personal opinion/different roles of medical staff.Our consultant has deemed it almost unethical for me to choose to have a cesarean as the risks, in her opinion, outweigh the benefit. Whilst our midwife stressed we do have a choice about this and can opt for this if that’s what we want.

Anyway until the 6th of June when we have another scan it’s just routine appointments with the midwife (what I call the ‘pee in the pot’ appointments) and a whooping cough vaccination (I really should be used to needles by this stage but I’m not!).

Thanks again everyone for all your concern, love and prayers. We wouldn’t be in the place we are today without you all.




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